


My Fucking Nightmare

by audkingston



Series: Do I wanna Know? [1]
Category: Avenged Sevenfold
Genre: Drama, F/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6456499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audkingston/pseuds/audkingston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young girl's life changes after she meets a rock star. She introduces her friend to another member of the band, and their relationships become polar. If you like a lot of deep emotions and drama, this story is for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Melissa's POV: Clashing Together

**Author's Note:**

> Take heed: this story involves extensive alcohol and drug use. Some poor behaviour such as depression and suicidal tendencies.

Harry met me at the kitchen table on a gloomy Sunday mid-morning where I noticed her writing out a list. As I got closer I watched smoke waft away from a burning cigarette between her left index and middle finger while trying to write as neatly as she could with her god awful scrawls. Just arbitrary grocery list items that she seemed to recall from memory. Her cell phone was turned face-down on the table, and was ringing incessantly. “You and Marc have a fight?” I tried to ask as ignorantly as I could, although she knew full-well that I’d heard every harsh word she said to him on the phone in the wee hours of this morning. Her tired eyes looked red with painful tears.

 “Trying to keep my mind off him, thanks.” She resumed her angry composition while teardrops fell and soaked into the pad of paper. She inhaled a deep puff of smoke and exhaled sharply. “Feeling like going across town today?” Harry asked, her voice slightly broken and hoarse. “We need some food. I got paid. Could use some ice cream or something.”

I nodded, grabbing the chair next to her. I wiped a stray lock of hair out of my face and pulled a smoke from her pack. She usually snaps it out of my hands but with what grief she had, I doubt she seemed to care about anything else other than her cheating boyfriend. “I’ve got no plans today. Gotta grab a shower though. Wanna leave, say one?”

She nodded without saying a word and finally put the pen down. Tearing the sheet of paper off the pad, she let it fall to the tabletop and hopped up to the counter to pour another cup of stale coffee. I left her in her misery and darted for the bathroom where I turned the water on so the steam instantly warmed my skin. Tousled my hair quickly and brushed all against my skin with a bare palm. Itching the itchy spots. Wiping away the sleepiness.

When I climbed into the stream of water, it was almost an instant crushing feeling of loneliness, a kind of empathetic sentiment for Harriet. And yet it reminded me that I hadn’t been intimately touched by a man in, well, almost a decade. Since graduating college, moving to Sacramento, and then Los Angeles. Getting paid to be a nomad, never getting the privilege of settling down with a lover. For Harry it was great, moving from place to place. She stood out in crowds, was almost always noticed by the bad boys. That was the thing; they were _bad_ boys. Not good boyfriend material, not good for feelings of self-worth.

Then maybe being a nomad wasn’t all too bad. Except for the sleeping alone every night.

My shower was a usual twenty-two minute shower. Pretty normal, straight-forward hair wash and condition, then scrub every inch of skin from face to toe. No singing, no wild thought-pondering, but maybe a little bit of enjoying the warm water splashing my skin like an embracing touch. When I turned the water off, the air was cold around me. I whipped a towel around my body and dashed to my room, slamming the door behind me. A moment or so later I was dressed and tousling my hair with the damp towel. No use in drying it, since the gross humidity would eventually ruin it anyway.

I met Harry back in the kitchen gathering her things. Wallet, sunglasses. She tossed me my car keys and bolted out the door. I patiently sighed and locked it behind me, gently closing it. My car wasn’t too shoddy. It was a 1996 Civic with an attitude starting up and a nasty pull to the left. Had to beg her to start and shift into gear. Standard transmission was the bane of my existence, but it was virtually theft-proof. I couldn’t care less if anyone wanted this piece of shit anyway. The only good thing was her mileage.

We tore out the drive and hurdled down the street into the busiest intersection I’d ever seen in my life. The supermarket was fifteen minutes’ drive from the house if traffic conditions allowed for good flow. I’d never caused an accident yet. Too cautious of a driver, really; Harry didn’t seem to care whether we lived or died on the way there. Her mood was really beginning to bring me down.

Once we pulled into the lot, she got out and we went our separate ways. I assume she rushed to the sweets while I took my time and grabbed a cart from the outside stall. I knew that a few days of her eating junk would then result in my misery of listening to her bitch about gaining weight. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

I reached into my pocket for a quarter to free a cart from the vestibule. All I had was bills and smaller change. Nickels and dimes. Didn’t quite want to bother a cashier in the massive lineups inside so I would ask the next passerby for help. The first person I saw was a hulking man with inked arms and hands wearing a black fedora, torn leather vest, shredded jeans. Aviators over his eyes. He had a small smirk on his face, a peculiar look really, as though it agitated him to come to a busy market on a hot day like today. I don’t usually judge people by their looks, so I stopped him for a quick moment. “Excuse me, can I bother you for a quarter? All I’ve got is smaller coin and bills and the lineups are incredibly long in there.”

He looked, for a moment, startled. “Uh, yeah I might have one. Just a second.” He started fumbling around in his back pocket for his wallet. I saw the seam of his shirt rise up and reveal a belt buckle that looked all too familiar. The trademark Deathbat. Oh, cool. I liked those guys too. He ripped open the change pocket inside the wallet, allowing me to see his identification, confirming an odd suspicion I didn’t really think about. My job allowed me to quickly notice even the smallest details. Yet, I remained, if not entirely, calm and relaxed. “Jeez, you wouldn’t happen to be that…guitar player from that band…?”

“Synyster Gates.” He beamed. I never saw someone grin so sheepishly. “You can call me Brian. Uh. Let’s not make a big scene.”

I snickered. “You’re coming to the market at a bad time if you’re trying to avoid making a scene. Gotta lose the signature look. Aren’t you going to ask me if I want an autograph?”

He let out a short giggle. Turned a little red in the face. “I like giving humble girls like you a little more than an autograph.”

I blushed. Not out of embarrassment, but from his peculiar forwardness. “How could I treat you any different from anyone else? You gotta make a living too.”

“Fuck.” He extended his hand to shake. “What’s your name?”

“Melissa Sanders. No relation to Matt.” I snickered. We shook hands for several seconds and he whipped his wallet out again to pull out some kind of business card. His name was on it. He flipped it over and wrote down a number with an area code I didn’t recognize.

Before he gave it to me, he pulled his shades down over his nose and met gazes with me. “Please don’t let anyone see it. This is my personal phone number. God knows how crazy fans can be. You’re clearly not going out of your mind and I…appreciate it.”

“Well, I’m not like most girls. So you’re welcome.”

“I’d like to ask you out for coffee, give me a call later. We’ll arrange something. My schedule isn’t too busy.” Cracking a flirtatious smirk, he pushed his glasses back over his eyes.

Smiling widely, just as I was about to walk away, I gave him a friendly nod. “Nice meeting you, Brian. You’ll be hearing from me.” Holy shit. What just happened?

When I caught up with Harriet, her basket was full of junk. I rolled my eyes and beamed as adrenaline shot through my body. I’ve met several celebrities and did several articles in the few short months of my time here in the city but this one guy tickled my fancy a little more than I was willing to admit. “What’s got you in such a good mood?”

“Oh, man. The most interesting thing just happened.”

“Hit your big break?”

I shrugged, picking a few things off the shelf to put in my basket. A box of salted crackers and some canned soup for later tonight. It wasn’t pathetic, but the single, low-income lifestyle really limited me to my options. And surely I’d have to start pinching my pennies a little more if I wanted to make an impression on this guy. “Oh, it’s kind of…well, I know you’ve been having a shitty last couple days in the relationship department, but I just ran into a guy. And I think we hit it off.”

“Oh?” she asked, sounding bitter. “Cute?”

My smile still beaming, I tried to fight the blushing that was spreading across my face. “Absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Got his number. I might wait a few days to call him.”

She grimaced, biting the inside of her cheek. I could see she was fighting tears, so I decided to drop the subject. “It’s not important. Probably just some scumbag looking for someone loose.” Still, I couldn’t get a rise out of her again. Needless to say, it was an awkward car ride home. The only thing on my mind was how to proceed. Social rules always dictated a certain amount of time before calling someone, but I grew anxious wondering if he was just going to slip away as fast as he fatefully bumped into me in the parking lot. I couldn’t forget his smile.

When we pulled back into the lot to our apartment complex, Harriet barrelled through the door, tossed her groceries into the fridge and barricaded herself away in her room again. I didn’t have time to try and comfort her. I was used to the number of dysfunctional relationships she’d ended in the last few months. Moving too quickly of all other aspects. Tragic, I suppose, but not really. I genuinely felt bad, because she was too nice and kept setting herself up for the loss. Investing too much into each guy.

I couldn’t let that affect what happiness I was now feeling. Might not have been the big break I was waiting for, but it was something. Something big in its own way.

Although, as much as I brought it up, his fame wasn’t particularly what dazzled me. It was his benign interest in my pettiness; my normal, humdrum life. I knew almost everything about his career. I knew enough to recall the raucousness of musicians just hitting their prime. Only a couple studio albums so far, but their names were known worldwide. Their music hit the charts with a bang. It was awe-inspiring.

I was starting to feel like I’d gravely buried all chances I ever could have had with him. Should have given him my number instead. Shouldn’t have panicked. But I reacted just as anyone would have. People were staring. Girls with heart-shaped eyes and an adamant heartthrob for a guitar player, let alone arguably one of the greatest guitar players in the business. Oh, the possibilities. The anxiety. How slow time was passing by.

By nightfall, I had grown far too apprehensive about the whole situation. I added his number to my phone, but didn’t call or text. Had just enough self-discipline to not seem desperate and needy. But I vowed to call the next day, after I’d finished several hours of chores. Also I had an article due that weekend that was only halfway complete, and it was likely that I finally found the inspiration to finish it.

Everyone hits their big break eventually after all.

 

~

 I woke late in the morning, sometime between ten and eleven, groggily trying to lift my head off the pillow for the whole hour. Recalled some dreams I had that night—some good, some bad. Nothing out of the ordinary, except Brian was in all of them. I kept my phone on charge on the dresser as I pulled a clean shirt over my head and slid into a pair of grey yoga pants. A suitable attire for scrubbing floors and bathtub tiles.

Harriet hadn’t come out of her bedroom aside from using the bathroom and finding more boxes of tissues to soothe her aching heart. I felt awful, but she was probably sleeping, so I left her alone. Placed my earbuds in my ears and turned up some alternative punk rock. Nothing too spectacular as my taste in music depended on my mood. Something somber yet pumped with bass so I could scrub dishes to a beat. Some might call it motivation. I called it background noise, a small comfort in an otherwise quiet apartment. As much as my obsession with Brian was growing, I avoided the few songs I had of his altogether. I couldn’t torture myself with that just yet. Plus I hadn’t yet developed a full taste for their style.

Several hours went by and I was pacing back and forth in my bedroom in debate as to whether I should have called him or not. Temptation soon prevailed, and I picked up the device, pulled up his name, and sent him a text. Just a “hey, it’s Melissa”. He responded in a matter of seconds with a “hey, wasn’t sure if you ditched the number or not” with a tacky wink face following suit. I blushed again, asked him how his day was. Began picking up small talk to break the ice a little bit.

Then he called me. My heart stopped dead. “ _Sorry, I got sick of texting. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get together for a drink or coffee, maybe a late lunch_.” I glanced at the clock: just past two. “ _Been stuck at home bored all day, basically waiting around the phone for your call_.” I could hear a tinge in his voice. It wasn’t desperate longing, but genuine curiosity, something that might not be so bad to slowly approach.

I cleared my voice before responding. Talk about a serious case of cotton mouth. “Oh, I…I would love to.”

“ _Ever been on a motorcycle before_?”

My heart fluttered. “Definitely not.”

He chuckled. “ _Great, I’ll pick you up. Mind giving me your address_?” he wasn’t forward enough to make me uncomfortable. It was relieving. I definitely felt that if I was uncomfortable he would be courteous enough to back off. So with a great feeling of happiness and security, I gave him my address. “The apartment complex with the big garden. Just rev the engine when you’re outside.”

He snorted and shuffled on his end. I could hear the barking of a little dog. “ _I’ve driven by that place a few times. Couldn’t miss it. Be there shortly_.” We exchanged several awkward goodbyes and I ended the call and held the phone to my chest. I could hear Harry shuffling outside my bedroom door in the hallway. When I opened the door I found her leaning on the wall as though she were anticipating on lecturing me about the dangers of boys. “You broke the three day rule. You’re definitely screwed.”

I rolled my eyes and passively pushed past her. I was really starting to not enjoy her profoundly agitated attitude. “Brian told me he’d have done the same too. Guess we really hit it off yesterday. Leaving to see him in a few minutes.”

“So tell me about him.” she barked. “I’m happy for you, Melissa. I am. It’s hard for me right now because I wasted so…much…time…with Marc. But I wanna know about him.”

I stopped for a moment to hush my breathing. “Well, for starters, he’s drop-dead gorgeous. Stunning smile, handsome eyes. Very well groomed. He’s in this band you listen to.”

Her jaw slacked. “Which band? You said his name was Brian?”

“Uh, can we talk about this later? I’m kind of in a rush to meet him. I think I can hear his bike.”

She cocked an eyebrow and turned away to walk back into her room. “Fine, but we’re sitting down with a bottle of wine tonight and you’re telling me _everything_.”

Just as I was about to shut the door behind me, swinging my coat on over my shoulder as I went, I smiled and said, “Look him up online. Brian, Avenged Sevenfold.” Harriet’s jaw dropped. As I closed the door she let her cell phone drop to the floor. I knew she’d be frantic when I got home tonight, which somewhat concerned me. But I was about to meet with him. And right on time I heard the sputtering engine of his motorcycle as he revved it several times. My smile came back and I let my hair down, letting it sway in the wind.

He met me outside and handed me his helmet. It was covered in different band logo stickers, the most prominent being his Deathbat. “No helmet for you?” I asked with a bit of a flirtatious sneer, passing on a wink as well.

He shook his head and helped me climb onto the bike. His long and wild hair was tied down by a blue bandana. “Should we grab a coffee or a beer?”

I shrugged and tucked myself into him as he climbed onto the bike, and kicked up the stand. “Surprise me.” I hollered over the sound of the engine and laughed as we took off. I barely noticed Harriet staring out her bedroom window in disbelief.

We barrelled down the road on his bike. This was the first time I’d ever ridden a motorcycle; it was quite scary at first but he kept reassuring me that the tighter I held on, the better off I’d be. It was chilly, the open wind, even though I wore a nice jacket. Los Angeles rarely got chilly. I wasn’t exactly sure how he was able to ride in a tee and jeans. A _tight_ tee I might add. At one point he offered me his jacket he kept in the saddlebag, but I didn’t want to impose. Or seem like a little wimp.

When we arrived it was a cozy little place by Venice Beach. It was homely and represented the heart of Hollywood and its surroundings. “The boys and I hang out here from time to time. Beer’s a buck at happy hour. Fifty cents at five on Fridays. Nice beach spot too, if you’re into that.”

I was in love with the view. “This is incredible. It’s pretty low-key for you guys though, isn’t it?” he helped me off the bike and tucked the helmet into the saddlebag on the back of the bike. In turn he pulled out the same hat he wore the day I met him. He grabbed my hand and dragged me inside, flagging down a table. I felt like we were in an interview rather than on a date. His presence attracted the attention of most of the people in the bar. It was a first-name basis.

A waitress with huge breasts came over with a menu. I surely wasn’t hungry but I figured Brian wasn’t about to indulge in a few beers without some chow. “Welcome back, Brian! How’s things?” she chirped. I wasn’t sure how to react. These guys must have been generous tippers.

However, rather than indulging in the waitress’ stunning looks, he could hardly keep his eyes off me. “Things have been great, Tish.” Tish? Trashy. “First time coming here without the others. Little more of a special occasion today.” He grinned and bared his stunningly white teeth. His cheeks dimpled and the colour rushed into his face.

She nodded, a little less than pleased, and awkwardly grabbed her notepad from her pants pocket. “Well, good to see you again. What can I get for you today?” I was slightly aesthetically thrilled that I threw a loop in her day; seems like Tish was used to being flirtatious whenever they came around. Maybe not only because of the tips, either…however, I didn’t let it get to me.

Brian quickly eyed the menu and huffed. I wondered if there was something he considered a “usual”, since it seemed that he ate there so often it prompted a first-name-basis. “Probably gonna have a starter. You wanna share one, Melissa?”

“Uh, sure!” I decided quickly. “Whatever you’re having.”

“You like calamari?” he asked, one eyebrow cocked. “It’s their specialty.”

I sighed nervously, still glancing over the appetizer section. “I don’t mind seafood.”

He passed off his menu and glanced back at me. “Well, I’ll definitely take a plate of calamari. And then whatever else she decides.” He didn’t seem finicky whether I picked an expensive dish. Still, I was humble enough to not go overboard.

“I’ll just have the cactus potato skins. They sound tasty.” And I passed off my menu as well. We weren’t about to have a huge meal in mid-afternoon.

Tish scribbled down her notes. “Anything to drink for the lady?”

I guess she’d assumed Brian was going to have a beer. God, she had to make things so awkward. Hope she wasn’t going to hover over us while we ate. “Uhm, a Sierra Nevada please.” Brian cocked an eyebrow again and giggled. “What?” I asked below my breath.

“It’s Matt’s favourite.” Matt? Oh, Matt! Goddamn it, I kept forgetting about the band thing. He was just _so_ down to earth. The fame hadn’t really hit him like a lot of celebrities I’d encountered.

When Tish left us to place our orders he stared at me for a long time across the table. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say, being overwhelmed and all. So I stared back. Then eventually, after what felt like forever, he broke the silence with his cherished giggle and clasped his hands together. “This is really nice, being out to one of my favourite dives with someone other than the people I normally hang out with. Don’t get much time alone with a lifestyle like this. Luckily we’re done touring for a while, so I thought about looking around a bit.”

“Tish didn’t tickle your fancy like I did?”

He scoffed. “Christ no, she tries way too hard to be liked. I’m sick of groupies acting fake to get in on the fame. Need some kind of anchor to tie me down, you know? That’s what I liked about you. Not intimidated by the whole band thing. But I’m sure you already know a whole bunch about my lifestyle. I wanna know more about you.”

I nervously cleared my throat. Tish swung by and brought us our beers, then left without saying a word. No tip for her today. “Well, I’ve only lived here for a few months. Got lucky swinging that little apartment block. Been trying to make it big with journalism. I mean, you figure living in a place like this where people are dying for media attention…but I haven’t hit my break yet. I wanna get my name out there and have fans of my work.”

“Been there. For a long time, too. Don’t worry…it’ll eventually come. I think I’ve actually read some of your stuff recently. An article about classic media attention. Was in one of the local papers. You’ve got a pretty strong argumentative side.” I was dying over his smile. “Your work is great. What if, one of these days, you did an article about us? Sort of like a career crossover. Surely the boys would like it. We want to promote some ideas for a new album.”

Passively nodding, I sipped on the beer. It was sweet like I remembered. Unlike the rest of the beers my family drank back in Indiana. Coors tasted like piss. Nothing else was tasty. I wasn’t much of a beer girl anyway but I could appreciate a nice, chilled Sierra, especially on a date like this. “It wouldn’t be a bad thing at all. When’s your next album supposed to be in the making? I could definitely do something about that.”

I wasn’t sure if he was allowed to discuss the band’s projects, but if he and I were going to be a thing, I think I deserved to know a little bit about it. Besides, who was I going to tell, even as a writer? He sipped some more of his beer and sat back against the booth cushion, taking his hat off to reveal the mop caused by the windy current on the bike. “Well, we just wrapped up the last tour from Waking the Fallen. We’ve got some ideas tossed around but nothing solid enough to really go on just yet. I mean, down the road I can assure you there’ll be more to go on.”

“So you’re saying, this between us, isn’t gonna die on the first date?” I bribed. He cracked a half smile and reached out for my hand. “Well I like where this is going.”

“Well, Melissa, I feel like we’ve got a connection. I like that feeling. Haven’t felt it since high school.”

This time I cocked an eyebrow. “We hardly know each other.” Then we both laughed.

“I have a feeling there’s gonna be plenty of time to learn.” When his fingers wrapped with mine, there was a sensation I got that was indescribable and incomparable. It was new, sort of like a fear, but a sense of reassurance that immediately shoos the fear away. Sort of something along the lines of that love-at-first-sight shit, but I wasn’t into that. “So, let’s talk about you a little more. Where’d you move here from?”

I swished down more of my beer. It was getting empty. “Indiana. Raised an hour outside of Bloomington, small little place called Linton. Nothing exciting ever happened there. Graduated from high school, decided to take some English classes in Bloomington U. Got a small degree, decided to follow the news. I almost went to New York but Los Angeles seemed so much cleaner. And warmer.”

He squeezed my hand when I finished talking and played with my fingers. I noticed how calloused and tough his fingertips were. There were some noticeable scrapes on his palm from extensive playing. “Well, something special _did_ happen in Linton, and it left when you came all the way out here.” I blushed. “Must have left all your family there, huh.”

Nodding with slight regret, I chose not to think about how sore I was about the exact reason why I left Linton in the first place. It definitely wasn’t the Hollywood image. I wasn’t gonna bum him out, so I plastered on a happier face and downed the rest of the Sierra. “Another one?” he asked, to which I nodded.

That was about the time my phone started buzzing. Harriet was calling, wondering if I was still alive, and prompting me to check the time. Just past six. Wow, three hours passed already. “Suppose another one wouldn’t hurt. Harry won’t mind.”

“Harry?” his tone was stern, almost offended.

“Oh! Sorry, short for Harriet. My roommate. Just called, probably just to see how things are going.”

He nodded cautiously. “Got a little worried there for a second.” We both nervously laughed and shook it off. “Did you tell her about this? About me?”

“Well, yeah, but she didn’t believe me. She’s a diehard fan.” I rolled my eyes at the thought of Harriet meeting Brian for the first time, hoping to god that she wouldn’t scare him off. Sometimes she could be crazy six ways to Sunday. “Perhaps you’ll get an opportunity to meet her soon. It wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

He scratched the back of his neck and stared down at his plate of food that had only just shown up. Luckily he wasn’t one of those big divas who freaked out over miniscule details. My cactus skins showed up shortly after. But in the meantime, he offered the whole plate of calamari. I didn’t reject his offer, but only ate several pieces. Squid wasn’t something I enjoyed thoroughly, but it was worth eating to make him not think I was some unadventurous floozy. The skins were moderately spicy when I tried them, but not too much for my liking. At one point we were eating out of each other’s hands.

By the fourth or fifth skin I was feeling quite full, though I had a feeling he wasn’t quite done yet. So we ordered another round of beers. I starting questioning how sober he was and whether he’d be able to drive back on his bike. But a big guy like him could handle several light beers with dinner. If he had more than three, I’d have more reason to worry. I was far worse off than he was. By my fourth beer, I had the hiccups and started feeling the buzz eat its way into my brain. Brian could do nothing else but laugh it off. It was more than safe to say that we hit it off that night.

Several more hours passed, hitting ten and eleven and I’d already ignored two phone calls and six texts from Harriet. Brian’s phone went off once—it was Jimmy wondering what he was doing. He texted back when he visited the men’s room and that was that. He told me he told Jimmy about us, but Jimmy didn’t want to step in and be rude. Brian asked me if I was ready to leave, since I was quite pickled. I didn’t want the night to end.

When he passed me the helmet, I fell into his arms and closed my eyes. Not to sleep per se, but to just have a moment to take in the night’s endeavours. Enjoy the last few miniscule moments before he dropped me off at home again. “You’re sure you don’t want to split the bill?” I asked him, just as I’d asked him several times before. He kept reassuring me that it was fine, that he was more than happy paying it, and that I was a “sweetheart to insist so many times.”

He helped me onto the bike again and started the engine. Before he climbed on, though, I caught his eye at the right time just as the moon peeked out from behind the clouds. It seemed so appropriate that I’d be drawn into him. I fought to kiss him, his lips fervently teasing me. Brian was a beautiful man. So modest and charming that I felt this was the real deal. I only prayed he did in return.

He climbed on and reminded me to hang on. The ride back was much chillier than the ride there, especially with the wind blowing off the ocean. Forecasts called for a storm that night, but the sky was clear and the moon gave off astonishing light bright enough for me to illuminate all of his intense features.

“Everything alright back there?” he would occasionally ask. I’d tap his ribs and give a thumbs up so I didn’t have to scream into the wind, against the engine’s roar. When we finally pulled up to my apartment block, all my lights were on and I could somehow sense Harriet hounding and pacing wondering just when I would either answer my phone or show up at the door. When she heard the sputtering of the bike, she rushed to the window and threw her hands into the air, frantic.

I heard Brian’s hearty laugh through the muffled bike helmet. Just as he helped me off, his lips grazed the back of my hand and I felt my underwear become damp. “I had a really great time tonight, Melissa. You’re such an amazing person. I’ll call you in a day or so. Tomorrow’s a write-off because the boys want to get together and plan some new album stuff. But any day after that, I’ll be free. I’ll text you though, if you wouldn’t mind.”

My heart fluttered. “Tonight was perfect. Thank you for such a great evening. I’d love to chat all day and night if you have the time for it. We can get to know each other better.”

“I like the sounds of that. I guess I’ll see you in a few days.” His tone sounded so solemn, so lonesome. I pitied his lifestyle. Having few friends outside his band due to his constant lifestyle of moving from place to place. That was an aspect I really had to take into consideration; was waiting around for Brian worth it in the end?

As he walked me to my door, I buzzed up to our apartment and held the door open with the side of my foot, saying my final farewell for the night. His sadness was now almost entirely evident. He held onto his smile, although seemingly fake. What was he going home to? An empty house? A bottle of liquor? I almost felt bad enough to stay longer. Just as I was about to turn back into my innocuous apartment complex, he spun be back to face him, pulling me close into his chest, where he laid the most ever so soft kiss on my lips. My heart rattled inside my chest; it felt like it was about to burst.

I pulled away for a moment to breathe but jumped right back in again. As much as part of me said it was the beer talking, I knew I wanted the real deal. Though I had more respect for myself than that. Someone like Brian needed a little extra effort to get the sweets. But god, was I tempted. I leaned back in for another, this time engorging myself with his mouth, his tongue. Feeling his sweet breath pour into my mouth, sucking away all the tastes of solitude and suffering. I wanted and needed Brian, every inch of my body screamed. It needed to wait. Sooner or later I’d have him, and it would be worth every moment.


	2. Restart Electroheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian's Perspective: he reflects on the date with Melissa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to let all the readers know that I will be switching perspectives and points of view from character to character. I will do my best to make sure it's clear before the reading.

My bike roared almost as fast as my heart did once I sped away. Fuck, that kiss. That girl. I needed that girl. Was she my girl already or was it too soon to start falling? Guys didn’t fall unless they knew, and I knew that this was it for me. No more forlorn looking and hoping for something to come along. Fate gave me my next calling. And it was already consuming me alive.

  
What was it about her? Melissa, the girl from my dreams? What about her made everything so much more special? What about her was different from anyone else? My head spun when I parked the bike in my garage. At the door Pinkly waited, chirping her adorable little chirp. The neighbour’s cat howled again at the moon that begged for more romancing, but the night was over. I shouldn’t have left her there. I should have asked her to stay with me longer. My pathetic lonely life here in this enormous house I bought on a whim. Okay, I had Pinkly. The little runt of her Shih Tzu litter. God I loved that little thing.

  
I opened the door and locked it behind me and set the alarm system. Pinkly chirped while tripping me up, my half-buzzed ass stumbling through the doorway to get to the fridge to find more beer to drown out my heartache. Pink jumped into my lap once I sat down with my only six pack that I had planned on saving for tomorrow’s session with the boys at the studio. I didn’t anticipate this night to go the way it did.

  
But instinctively I picked up the phone and selected her number and typed out a brief message. Hey, made it home, but kinda wish the night didn’t end so early.  
Waited a few minutes while tuning into some movie on the tube. She replied back. _Me too. Maybe next time?_

I smiled. _There’s always next time. Friday night?_

_I like the sound of that. Any ideas?_

Sighing, I wasn’t sure what to put. I didn’t want to sound desperate, nor did I want to sound forward and aggressive. _Movie night?_ Smiley face. _Doesn’t have to be a late night._

 _Definitely!_ She responded, with a smiley face as well. Pinkly climbed up into my arms and began ferociously licking my face, as if she knew somehow that I was particularly low tonight. “It’s alright little baby.” I promised her, scratching behind her fluffy little ears. If it wasn’t for that dog I’d have been in a really bad place. She settled down and nestled herself between me and the couch cushion like she normally did. Letting a long, exasperated sigh blow through her little wet nose, we were feeling the same things. Our home needed a woman’s touch.

  
I told Melissa I was exhausted and that I’d talk to her in the morning before heading out. She wished me a good night and I put my phone on charge for the rest of the night in the kitchen. Pinkly and I slept on the couch with the television quietly playing in the background, open beer in my hand. Miracle it didn’t spill.

  
When I woke I set the beer can onto the coffee table and headed straight for the bathroom to empty my bladder and comb the mess of hair that knotted in the wind yesterday. I splashed some water on my face and headed for my bedroom to find a change of clothes and to apply some long-overdue deodorant. I had to meet the boys in an hour. After I put Pinkly outside to take care of her business I grabbed my phone to check all the notifications I’d likely missed in my slumber. Only one phone call from Matt, and a couple texts from Melissa. I was more curious about what she had to say than listen to the voicemail Matt left me.

  
One of her messages said goodnight from last night, which kinda crushed me since I normally like being the last one to say goodnight. The other message was good morning with a smiley. I responded with the same message and poured some chow into Pinkly’s dish. She devoured all her food in record timing, and I put her out again before grabbing my jacket and truck keys. “See you tonight, little lady.” I told her and scratched her head before locking the door behind me. I saw her jump up into the window on the couch and bark several times as I pulled out of the drive.

  
My phone beeped again with another incoming text; I hoped it was from Melissa, but I wasn’t going to check it until I pulled into Starbucks. _How did you sleep?_ She had asked. Truthfully, I didn’t remember sleeping. I barely remembered getting home last night.

 _Not bad, guess I passed out on my couch. You_? Left the truck in the lot to grab a bite inside. Smiled madly when the phone beeped again. She had a dream about me. This was going to be a long day.

  
When I bought the coffees and a box of muffins my phone beeped several times. Another voicemail from Matt and a text from Melissa. I listened to the voicemail from Matt. Apparently we weren’t meeting at the studio anymore, but at Jimmy’s instead. It was a closer drive to my place anyway, and I could take an easy detour to drive by her place too. Even if it meant knocking on her door and giving her a good morning kiss. Fuck, I was falling too hard too fast. But was it actually a bad thing?

  
Deciding not to risk falling harder, I drove to Jimmy’s place and parked behind Matt’s truck. By the looks of it Zack and Johnny hadn’t shown up yet. They live close together so they usually carpool. I went inside to find Matt and Jim chumming around Jim’s living room table. Papers were sprawled everywhere, as were some guitars and Jimmy’s practice drum set. Nothing special, just some basic equipment for composition. The papers were mostly jumbled lyrics. Matt spent a lot of time at home throwing ideas together about album concepts. He lived a more solitary life than I did. Guy got laid a little more often than me, but the last time he had any was at least a year ago.

  
I laid the coffee and muffins on the table on top of the papers and fist-bumped my brothers before taking a seat on the couch beside Jimmy. “What’s up man? I called you last night but you never answered me. Anything new?” Matt asked. I guess I hadn’t wiped the silly smirk off my face before coming in so they were wary about my sudden personality shift. “Someone must have had a good night.”

  
“Nah, don’t worry about it. What do we got going on?”

  
Jimmy laughed his Jimmy-laugh and slapped my shoulder. “Nah, man. You gotta come out and fuckin’ say it before the other two hooligans show up. Lucky it’s just us right now. What happened? Finally catch some tail?”

  
I rolled my eyes and sipped some piping hot coffee. “Fine. I guess I met someone the other day.”

  
“So you did get a little bit last night!” Matt chirped. It wasn’t bitterness in his voice that made me cringe, but that little tinge of jealousy that anyone could have picked up on. “What’s she like, dude?”

  
“Well, she drinks the same beer as you so you’ll get along fine. She’s a journalist. Moved here from Indiana a couple months ago to test the Hollywood waters. She’s a fan but humbled enough not to go over the fucking top like the rest of them. God, guys. She’s perfect. She’s all I’ve been able to think about.” And just as I finished talking I pulled my phone out to answer her last text. With the guys now, will text when I can. Winky face. She texted back with a little heart. I flushed. The boys giggled. “First date was last night. Nothing happened, if that’s the only thing you fucking nerds are obsessed about. We made out a little.”

“I dunno, Brian. It’s more than Matt’s gotten recently.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jim.” Matt said, this time with full-on bitterness. We laughed it off before the other two arrived, fashionably late as usual. Phil, our manager, was supposed to come along as well, but no one had heard from him in a couple days, so we decided to proceed without him. “Okay, good. We’re all here. Sucks we couldn’t have done this in the studio cuz I kinda wanted to test out some demos I was meddling with the other day. Sucks, but whatever. Brian, get off your phone.” As I said before, this was going to be a long day. We weren’t going to get very far with little equipment. But everyone had some material to present.

Basically the premise of the new album would be a more traditional metal theme. We’d all agreed that Matt wasn’t going to scream at all anymore. We’d be softening up a bit. Not enough to lose that Avenged Sevenfold theme alone, but to present our fans with a new sound. Our sound.

We were anxious. Hours passed by and the only few things we accomplished were basic guitar and bass riffs, some drum track, and a little lyric to go along. Enough for one song altogether, but the whole mix was choppy. None of us were feeling it. Probably just too exhausted from the last tour. This proved beneficial to pursue the possibility of dating Melissa. Not that I was trying to rush anything, but our musical career really could have used a small break.

When five or six rolled around, we called it a day. Johnny and Jim stayed to meddle around with their stuff while Zack took off to see Gina and the kids. Must have been so hard to stay away since he got married and had a couple kids. And they were so, so young. That’s why I was so hesitant at first to find someone. It’s all Zack ever talked about when we were away. His wife and kids, his wife and kids. Good for him. I hoped that we’d all find that one day. Sure it threw a loop in our stuff for him to get tied down so young, but he was happy. That’s all that mattered.

Matt and I strolled back to our trucks slowly, calmly. I knew he had a few things to say. “So you think this could be the real deal?”  
I was unsure of what to say. “I don’t know yet. We only met a couple days ago. Our first time out together was last night. I don’t even know that much about her yet. We’re compatible but she could have a whole closet full of skeletons.”

He pursed his lips, staring at the gravel driveway. His hands were in his pockets. He felt threatened, I knew it. His best friend was going to be ripped away by some girl. Still, I had to keep reassuring him that wouldn’t happen. As much as my heart throbbed each time my cell buzzed or I even so much as thought about her, I was unsure of it all. Wouldn’t know until the third or fourth date, and I was in no rush. “Matt, I don’t think we should dive right into this new album. I think we gotta take some time away. Last tour was fucking brutal. Not even goddamn Lars Ulrich could pick up again after a tour as long as we did this time around. Give these guys some time. Give the fans some time to build up some hype. Let us indulge in being bachelors on the hunt for some pretty ladies.”

He nodded, tucking a cigarette between his lips, lighting it without saying anything except for “Alright.” I wished him a good evening, promised I’d call him later, and left. The forecast was still calling for that crazy rain storm we were supposed to get two nights ago, but the few clouds in the sunny sky just weren’t having it. I took a joyride downtown to the liquor store again to replenish my beer stock as I’d polished off the remaining five from last night’s six pack. Picked up a bottle of Jack too. Didn’t have much mix at home but Jack on the rocks was an old favourite I shared with my father.

I had a lot of thought to ponder. Thoughts not worth pondering while sober. Pinkly and I were due for a movie date. I’d call Melissa when I got home and hear her voice for the first time today. Ask her about the dream she had. Hell, maybe I’d just swoop by her place like I planned earlier but with some flowers and chocolate. Have a movie date there.  
Matt seemed too bitter to be approachable so I figured, fuck him, I’ll just go about my evening how I originally wanted to. I decided to leave the flowers for another day. Decided to just return home to Pinkly to curl up on my couch and listen to the wind ripple outside as the storm began brewing.


	3. I Could Get Used To this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real romancing begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Melissa's perspective.

Brian called me just as I was making dinner. It wasn’t going to be anything special, just some ramen and leftover chicken from a few nights ago. I quirkily answered, slightly intimidated. Wasn’t sure why. “Hello?” I answered, hoping to sound not so taken aback.

He answered huskily, as though he was walking while talking to me. I could hear some rustling wind in the background as well as the barking of a small dog. “Hey. How are you?”

I blushed and stirred my ramen just as I added it to the boiling water. “Oh, I’m great! How was your session?”

“Not great. We discovered we’re too tired after the last tour to care. Only got home a couple weeks ago. If the record company wasn’t so anal about pumping new shit out, we’d be alright. But how was your day? Sorry I didn’t text much. Matt got kinda cranky. He seemed kind of bitter that I’m the one currently seeing someone.”

“Ha, my roommate is the exact same way. Gee, they sound like they’d make a good couple. Two bitter people making each other miserable. Perhaps you should give Matt Harriet’s number. See what becomes of it.”

“That’s not so bad of an idea.” He chuckled. “Might do him good to chase some tail. What’s she like?”

I shrugged, hoping that Harriet wouldn’t hear what I had to say. “Well, what’s his type? She’s…different I guess. Might flip fucking shit when I tell her we’re setting her up on a blind date with the frontman of one of her favourite bands.” We laughed together as I prepped my noodles that finished a lot faster than I anticipated. I stirred the flavouring into the bowl of clumpy noodles and took the dish into my bedroom to eat at my desk. Plus I’d get a little more privacy in here. Brian didn’t have much else to say about the Matt and Harriet thing, so I just dropped it. We decided that I’d give him Harriet’s number on our next encounter.

As I ate, we joked back and forth like we did at dinner all last night. But I was sick of the cutesy shit. I wanted to get inside his circle. “Did I tell you I dreamt about you last night?”

“Yeah, you said something about it this morning. But didn’t say anything in particular. Care to talk about it?” We both went silent for a few minutes while I gathered the courage and suppressed the giggles enough to blurt it out. “Well?”

“It was a little bit dirty.”

“Oh really?”

I tried so hard to keep the laughter in, but couldn’t. I burst out into hysterics as he remained puzzled and silent, waiting for me to elaborate. “Well, you see, it wasn’t unnatural. It must have been after the fifth or sixth date. It was pouring rain. I decided to stay the night at your place. And, well, one thing led to another. Dream Brian set the bar pretty high. I wasn’t disappointed.” I could hear him muttering under his breath. “Still alive over there?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He huffed. I was curious about what snagged his breath but didn’t feel like asking. Surely he wasn’t that kind of guy, but anyone could have been that guy. “Sorry, just getting settled in again. Sounded like you enjoyed it. Hopefully if or when the time comes I’ll be able to raise that bar even higher, hmm?” He knew how to make my bits tingle, I’d give him that. “Say, about that next date. You really want to wait until the weekend?”

I chuckled in wonderment about whether he was aiming to score so soon. “Suddenly my dream has your underpants in a bunch, huh. I like the sound of a new date though. Why not go to a movie or something?”

“Yeah, I like the sound of that. But no, no. I’m definitely not into that stuff before the bare minimum, third or fourth date. I still want to get to know you more.”

“Well, we’ve got all the time in the world to get to know each other.” We babbled on and on about each other for the next two hours. Mostly just likes and interests, dislikes and whatever else came to mind. It was safe to say we knew a fair deal about each other when he decided to get off the phone just after nine-thirty. He sounded so drained. It wasn’t out of boredom, but we had to leave some subject matter for our next dates. It wasn’t decided if we were going steady so I wasn’t about to break the news to anyone at home. Not that anyone at home cared, but it was the thought that counted. “Well, see you tomorrow night then?” I asked him, somewhat flirtatiously.”

“Definitely. I’ll pick you up.” We decided on a movie to attend and then decided to attend the late-night show. He offered to take me to dinner beforehand, but I wasn’t sure about eating lots of takeout. Instead I invited him for a nice meal here. Harriet was going out for a couple hours anyway with some friends from her job here in the city. It was a perfect, opportune time. Only I had to clean the shit out of this place all day tomorrow.

We bid goodbyes again and hung up, both of us longing to talk longer. It had surprisingly been a long day and I had another long day of cleaning ahead of me, so it was probably the best course of action. So I brought my dishes out to the sink to clean them, hoping not to disturb Harry in doing so. Surely she was long asleep, so the clattering of glassware wouldn’t be much of a nuisance. I ducked back in to my bedroom to ready myself for sleep. While I was away, I got a text from Brian. _Thinking of you_. Oh, how sweet, I thought. I responded with _Thinking of you too_ with a smiley at the end. For a single guy he didn’t ever give off any bad vibes. None of that catcalling, disrespectful bullshit. And I admired that.

All I could think about was my dream. Getting caught kissing in the rain. Sitting with him in a house I didn’t know about, watching some movie, but not watching it at all. Paying attention to our silhouettes dancing along the wall each time lightning flashed in the enormous bay window. I don’t remember any sound, but every single sensation. The beads of sweat, the scratches I left in his back, the bite marks he left on my throat. The trail of kisses he left running along my entire body. It would take a miracle for me to resist jumping his bones on our next date; that was a fact.

When I woke the next morning, it was gloomy and hazy, but no rain fell. There were small bursts of sunlight poking through the clouds, enough to cast a nice ray of colour on the streets and buildings of the City of Angels. I crawled from the sheets of my lumpy queen sized bed and hit the carpet floor with such shameful lack of motivation I was afraid to admit it. I was not a graceful morning person. I started in the kitchen, scrubbing every crevice and cleaning every dish that laid astray from the past busy week. _Harriet had better not fuck this up for me_ , I thought. It took several hours, but everything was clean. Next I needed to shower.

In the little time I took for breaks I chatted casually with Brian, asking him what he liked for home cooked meals. It broke my heart when he said he couldn’t remember what a delicious home cooked meal tasted like. I told him I’d just do something easy, like chicken parmesan or something wholesome and easy. At one point he even offered to help me cook. Lord have mercy. I politely declined and carried on about my day. When the time rolled around that I should have expected him to show up, Harry was finishing her last-minute makeup details. The buzzer buzzed. I let him up. Told Harry to hold herself together.

Brian knocked twice and I let him in. He was dressed quite differently today than in the last few days. Harriet shook his hand and left faster than she really needed to. Apparently she was still grieving over her ex. It wasn’t my biggest concern for the moment. “Dinner’s just in the oven. Decided to stick with chicken parmesan. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, I’ve always appreciated a good meal. Anything other than restaurant or diner food.” I sat him at our wobbly table and poured a glass of wine. I didn’t usually drink wine, and neither did Harry, but he seemed to take it down like water so I knew one way or another I’d be finally getting rid of that bottle that somehow appeared in my liquor cabinet one day. “Well, if you were planning on getting me drunk I’d recommend maybe not catching a movie tonight.”

“Well, there’s always something good on television.” I beamed. “And in all fairness, you got me reasonably drunk the other night. Took me a while to recover. I’m taking my revenge on you, dear sir. Please, join me and indulge in some breast of chicken and noodles of angel hair.”

He laughed heartily and drank some more wine. “You’re a total nerd. I love it. But what about your roommate? When’s she coming back tonight?”

I shrugged. “Who knows? Speaking of which, I have to give you her number. Hopefully something good will come of it.”

“Would it be weird if she came home and I was still here? I mean, isn’t she still upset?”

“Well, I do have a television in my bedroom. It doesn’t have cable but I do have a DVD player. We could bring the wine and have a quiet night in.”

He cocked an eyebrow, giving me a very enigmatic stare. “I do like the sound of that. Wait, what day is it?” I hadn’t the slightest clue. “If it’s the day I think it is, I might have an incredible surprise for you.”

I raised one eyebrow in suspicion but he kept his genuine smile spread across his face so I had to let down my guard. “And what day do you think it is?”

“Just a little occasion. We could have dinner and I’ll take you right after, no time to spare. Can’t get a very good view from here I don’t think.”

“Is the world ending or something?”

He laughed and sipped some more wine, reflexively reaching for my hand. Wait, when did it become reflexive? I was beginning to feel the works of anxiousness. I couldn’t even pick up on any subtle hints. “No, it’s much nicer an occasion.”

I had to go over all the special holidays and occasions in my head, yet to no avail, I was stumped. Decided to let it go and enjoy the evening before he’d bring us to said mystery location. I was excited to see what he had in store but when we decided on staying in for the night, my mind finalized that I wouldn’t have had to dress myself up for the public. It couldn’t have been anything huge because he would have dressed a little more like I figured he would, a rocker, and not a regular guy.

We talked for a while before dinner was ready. He told me more about his experience as a guitarist in a rising band. I didn’t have much in my world to stack up to that, but I loved listening to him talk. He constantly insisted that I say more about myself, but to no avail, I told him just that and he left it alone. I honestly wasn’t sure how we were so compatible.

I got up to prepare our meals when the timer beeped and he followed me into our tiny kitchen to help me serve up. Kept a hand around my waist the entire time. “Would you have an issue with meeting the guys sometime next week? If I can get everyone in one room, that is.” Way to break the ice there, Brian.

“Uh, no. That sounds like something fun. Oh god, they don’t hate me do they? Cuz I’m not all tattooed and pierced? And I definitely don’t dress like your typical fans.” He shushed me with a quick kiss. I melted, leaning against the countertop, not knowing how to proceed.

He seated me at the table again once I caught my balance and pushed my chair in before resuming his own seating. Poured more wine into his glass. “Only Matt and Jimmy know about it. I wanted to wait but I feel like the others should know before it really takes off. Not saying we have to rush anything, but I’m in high spirits. I’m feeling like this could gain some real traction. There’s nothing about you I don’t like.”

I sighed out of relief and cut the first piece of chicken delicately dressed with mozzarella and parmesan. Brian closely followed suit, emphasizing his enjoyment. He was a very vocal man. Didn’t stay quiet much. But he had some of the best manners in a person I’d ever seen. “Well, I look forward to meeting them.”

“Surely they do too. This is delicious, by the way. Who taught you to cook?”

“Oh, my dad. Owned his own restaurant before he died.” Oops, I’m pretty sure I just killed the mood.

Brian seemed to have kept his cool. “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s gotta be hard. Bet he’d be proud to hear that his little girl cooked a meal appetizing enough for royalty.” I blushed. Hard. Felt like I was floating. My god, I don’t know how I could have had such luck to meet a man like him. He finished his portion in record timing. Must have been incredibly hungry coming down. I felt slightly embarrassed that I was just over halfway through my plate. Still, he was patient, he sipped on wine, continued to talk about plans and dreams and hopes for the future.

Turns out Brian wanted a family. He wanted a wife who would miss him terribly when he went away and loved him half to death when he came home. He wanted a child or two to carry on his name and inherit his love and passion for what they were good at. I wanted love, happiness and prosperity. I told him I didn’t want material possessions and wealth. I grew up with the most minimal of things. Never had desire for brand new except when what I had was too broken to use or if I had the money for it.

They were huge revelations and I wondered throughout the remainder of our dinner if it would be me settling down to be that girl he’d one day call his wife. I mean, imagining all this wouldn’t exactly ruin the sanctity of pure love. It’s not like Brian was bringing me to a Vegas chapel tonight to tie the knot. Not that it would be a big inconvenience, but I feel like there was still so much left to discover about each other.

When I finally finished my dinner we brought our dishes to the kitchen. Brian offered, even insisted, to help me clean before we left. Likely some sort of immaculacy he needed in his lifestyle. He lived on the road for the majority of his young-adult life and I’d imagine by now he’d have gained some sort of cleanliness regime. Sharing a tour bus or van or whatever else with a group of other guys must have been quite uncomfortable. I packed away the leftovers and offered them to him since he enjoyed the meal so much. “Definitely beats living out of a restaurant.” He thanked me, polished off the wine in his glass, and we left for our mysterious adventure.

His truck was a black Chevrolet long box crew cab with leather seats. The truck was probably just a year old and didn’t have a single dent or scratch on it. The truck itself wasn’t overly tall, but higher than I was used to in Indiana. I noticed people rarely drove trucks here in the city; they were a little harder on gas and emissions were higher than that of a sedan or crossover. Surely one truck with a higher emission rate wouldn’t drastically change the levels of smog all by itself, and Brian was proud of the sparkling beauty nonetheless.

I climbed up into the passenger’s seat and buckled in, checking out the new hot features of newer model vehicles. He had the works: an auxiliary cable hook up with an insane sound system. Probably rarely listened to the radio. When the engine fired up, just to my suspicion, Metallica came blasting through the speakers but he was hasty to turn it off. “Something tells me that stuff wouldn’t exactly set the right kind of mood.” He wryly said, glancing over his shoulder at me.

He shifted into drive and departed from the shoulder of the sidewalk leading up to my apartment and followed the road straight down to the beginning of the downtown sector where he took a bypass and headed over some nice foothills. I recognized the area enough as Redondo, and the beach was nearby. We continued on through a different area, one I hadn’t yet explored, where I could just faintly make out the Hollywood sign overlooking the city. We climbed the hills to get closer to the sign. Brian paid close attention to the time on the dash of the truck as he drove, careful not to miss the beginning of the show.

We finally parked on the side of the road looking over the same hill that the sign sat on. The sky was wide and open, quite beautiful to say the least with the moon pouring light down over the valley. I was in awe. “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

“No, no. Just wait.” He crooned, leaning over me with one hand around my hip, the other holding the guard rail. “Should be any minute now.” And he called it, dead on. A burst of white shimmering fire appeared in the sky followed by an ear-bursting bang and it took several moments for the lights to fade as the next few climbed into the sky and exploded. My god, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to watch this from my apartment. How did he know this was going to happen?

I couldn’t speak; my mouth frozen with awe. This was one of the most beautiful moments in my entire life. I turned around to him looking at me, eyes mellow with tenderness and love. I fell into his arms and kissed him again, much like the last date, and held him there while the fire danced in the sky.

It was about an hour long show but we decided to call it a night as the wind was beginning to pick up and there was a chill in the air. Watching the show would have been dull from inside the truck, so we headed back to his place for the rest of the night. I had already texted Harriet informing her that I wouldn’t be home until morning. Normally it would have bothered me when she did that, but I wasn’t about to let her foul mood of jealousy ruin my evening.

As I anticipated, Brian’s house was _huge_. Far bigger than my little apartment downtown. It had all the specs: a huge bay window, a massive back patio and a garage attached to the side. It was essentially a villa except more moderate in size. Not a typical Tom Cruise or Will Smith property on Hollywood Hills tours. And his fucking dog. Little tiny ball of fluff just prancing around on his patio trying desperately to climb up my leg. “Meet Pinkly, my first love. She keeps me company. Not much to do around this part of town and cab fares get pretty expensive hitting up all the exclusive clubs. The scenery gets old anyways.” Brian picked Pinkly up into his arms and gave her some real sweet puppy kisses. She was just too frantic to stay up in his arms, so he passed her off to me to make acquaintances. “Shall I give you a tour?”

“Sure!” I barked, ruffling the small dog’s hair between my fingers. She licked my hands incessantly. I could see how Brian could love the little thing so much. “If you wouldn’t mind I’d like to use your bathroom anyway.”

“Oh, definitely. It’s just down here.” I let Pinkly down and followed him down his hallway where he pointed out the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and turned to his sink to splash water on my face before emptying my bladder. His bathroom smelled like musky aftershave. An idiot would be able to figure out that this was a bachelor pad. But it still had that new home smell. He definitely had to be away a lot more than he was here.

After I evacuated my bladder I washed and dried my hands and fixed my windblown hair. Whatever eye makeup I put on earlier was now wiped away and I looked like a newly reanimated zombie. Probably just bad lighting, so I didn’t think it was a big enough deal to stress over. I left the bathroom and found him in his living room with a couple beers in his hand. “Figure you’d like one. Not Sierra, but still tasty. Here, I’ll show you around.”

He led me to the kitchen which seemed somewhat secluded, separated from the living room by a dining table covered in a white table cloth. Like the rest of the house, it smelled brand new, fresh out of packaging. I really hoped he didn’t go out and binge buy all new household items to make an impression. Then I noticed the few beer and coffee stains and the suspicion rolled away. His kitchen was enormous, like one of those celebrity chef kitchens with the fancy array of knives, a built-in dishwasher that looked like it hadn’t yet been installed sat beside the fridge. The freezer had an ice dispenser with three different controls. I was impressed. “How long have you been living here? Everything seems so new.”

“A few months at most. Finally able to afford something nice. Interior design is top of the market, outside is typical for this neighbourhood.” He was humbled like me, but proud that his work was able to give him the things he wanted: a bike, a truck, a beautiful house. The only part I didn’t like was how it was so big, and only he and Pinkly lived there.

We regrouped in the living room on his suede leather couch. He casually flicked on the flat screen on the far wall of the room. Nothing in particular was on tonight considering most of the town was out partying. “I can see how lonely you’d get up here.”

“Yeah, which is why I’m glad you decided to come over.”

“Well I wasn’t about to pass up on that kind of opportunity, Brian. You’ve got a beautiful setup here.”

He leaned in closer to me and pulled my chin upwards with two fingers. “Wish I had someone to share it with me, is all.” He kissed me again, and again, and again. Pinkly wagged her tail on the floor and yipped several times in confusion and excitement, unsure of what to make of her dad’s new company. “Shh, girl. It’s alright. Here, let’s bring you outside. Be right back, Melissa.”

I waved him off and leaned back against the couch, sipping back more beer. I’d say after the few glasses of wine from dinner, a beer was plenty. I didn’t want alcohol to cloud my judgment, even though I knew my mind was made up. He reappeared into the living room, this time without his light jacket on from before. He had on a tee shirt with some legendary rock icon as the logo. I could see the faint wisps of eyeliner around his eyes with how close he got to me once he sat down. His jeans were torn and tattered but not to the point of appearing trashy. It was the style of the time. His hair dangled down in long, curly strands. His skin was so pale, so clear. I was inclined to touch his cheek with several fingers, but his hand caught mine and held it in the air for a moment before our fingers intertwined.

I never noticed just how thick he was before. The weight must have caught up with him quickly, as he mentioned before when on tour before fame they’d practically starve, living off a dollar each day. He was home living a lifestyle he long deserved. I’d have been damned if I chose to let it slide away. I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I might have been an adult with taste for spicy romance, but I didn’t have any expertise with this. That was all Harriet. So I let Brian do what he chose, and hoped that maybe his actions would prompt some out of me.

That was, until, the power went out.


	4. By the Candlelight Glow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut! Kidding, not the sexiest of sex. First time's kinda awkward, right? NSFW, by the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Melissa's perspective.

We giggled in the darkness for a few minutes, blindly searching for different ways to kiss and have fun with it without smashing noses or bumping foreheads. I wasn’t sure where he wanted to go with this tonight, but in the dark I felt upset that I couldn’t watch his facial expressions or admire his beautiful body as I wished to explore it. “Should I go find some candles?” he asked, holding the side of my head in his sweaty palm, brushing against my cheek and earlobe with his thumb. “I want to be able to see you.”

“I’m glad you were the first to say that.” I said while giggling, brushing against the patch of bristly hair on his chin. “Boy, it gets awfully dark up here when there’s no moonlight, huh.” It was a fairly new subdivision too, incomplete without street lights or much traffic to shine headlights through the bay window. There was little light from the city streets below to cast his silhouette where I could see almost clearly see the jagged edge of his jawline and cheekbones and the creases in his face when he smiled.

His expression became sour for a moment while we paused, and for a moment I feared that I offended him. “Are you uncomfortable?” Brian asked, his hands immediately falling away from me. I was shocked that he stopped so fast, but to all the treats he’d given me so far I was silly to be surprised.

I reached for his hand and squeezed it, bringing the back of his palm to my cheek. “You would know it if I was. I enjoy the darkness, but on this occasion, I’d like to be able to see you better. Even in candle light. And now that I think about it, I don’t think I want the power to come back on for a while. It’s so peaceful, so quiet. Just listen to the rain.”

He scratched the back of his head in an awkward manner and I could almost tell, even in the pale light, that he was blushing. “I’ll uh, go see what I have for candles.” He got up and blindly stumbled across the living room, nearly banging his foot against the coffee table in doing so. After a few moments of stumbling around I heard rifling from the kitchen, probably one of Brian’s junk drawers or a box he didn’t unpack yet. After a few moments of rustling and bumping he came back in with a lighter and several candles and placed them on a couple coasters before lighting them.

In this kind of lighting I never noticed before that he had freckles. Holy shit, freckles. So faint that I had to be close to his face, staring deep down into the vulnerable tissues where the pale makeup and eyeliner usually covered. “Wow, you have a stunning complexion.”

“Gee, thanks.” He laughed sheepishly and pressed his forehead against mine. “God, you’re pretty. One of the most beautiful girls I ever met.”

“Huh, now you know what I’m all about.” I cockily countered, moving my hands into his hair. So matted with product, but soft and sitting waiting for my fingers to run through the strands, brushing several long locks away from his face.

The candlelight flickered and danced, casting our shadows on the walls. I was about to crawl up into his arms but Pinkly began scratching at the door to come in from her frolic in what appeared to be loose mud. “For fuck sakes, dog.” He breathed and climbed off the couch once more to bring her in. I heard him cuss several times more as Pinkly shook water and mud all over him and the floor. I tried to stifle my laughter just as the tiny white Shih Tzu trotted into the living room, tail wagging, and hair flopping, dripping wet. “If you shit on this floor, I swear to fucking god.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or not, but when she sat on the floor and wagged her tail at her daddy, the way he reacted made me melt. He crouched down and stretched his arms, to which she ran to him and jumped up so he could lift her into the air for a close hug. “You tell Melissa that you like to spite your daddy by playing outside for a half hour and coming in and taking a big poop on the floor in front of him. But you know that daddy has a pretty girl over tonight, and you don’t wanna scare her away, do you?”

“Someone loves his little girl too much to care I think,” I beamed. Brian laughed and put Pinkly down on the floor again where she blitzed to her bed in the corner of the living room by the baseboard heater. “You two are so good for each other.”

“Pinkly’s something else, that’s for sure. But she isn’t you.” He pulled me close again and held me against him for some time before finding my lips again. All the blood rushed to my head and my ears and for the moment I heard nothing—not even the violent rainfall outside. “I don’t want you to leave me tonight. I’d like to have your company. I’d like to have _you_.”

“Oh good, I wasn’t being too forward.”

“No, just seems like everything else is trying to make this night go totally awry. But I don’t think anything else should be interrupting us tonight. I told the boys to leave us alone.” I recalled I hadn’t heard his phone go off, nor had I seen him check it at all this evening. Surely a group of guys so close as they were, or as much as I assumed, knew when to back down and leave a man alone to his devices. “Now where were we?” Brian coaxed, holding both my hands by our hips, rubbing noses together.

Cracking a half smile, I pushed him down to the couch and straddled him. “I think I remember.” I remembered his face went from cute and sweet to awe stricken and shocked in a fraction of a second. “We definitely don’t know what the other likes, but I’m totally willing to spend this entire night finding out.”

“Funny, I didn’t take you for a girl with that kind of side at first. Can I ask you something?” I nodded and waited for him to proceed. “Well, I’m just curious. You’re the first girl in years I’ve gotten…physical with. If this were to become something bigger, how important would you consider the element of sex?”

I’ll admit I was taken aback by that question. Didn’t really consider it much, to be honest. “Well, I believe that it’s important in its own category. Couples bond in different ways all the time. I guess I consider it a way to discover more about my partner. It’s been a really long time for me too though and it would be nice to get out of this dry spell.”

“Fucking tell me about it.” he smiled and ran his hand around my waist, his palm grazing the back of my thigh and butt. Sweet, sweet tingling sensations shot through my body. Is this what love felt like? I asked him the same question. He kissed my neck and ear lobe and began to whisper in my ear. “It’s important to me, but not as important as keeping you happy, Liss.”

It was the first time he called me Liss. My brother and sister used to call me Liss when they were younger, as did my fucked up mother, causing me to hate it. But I wasn’t about to crush him by telling him. I didn’t feel as bothered by him saying it as I used to be since he said it with a little less of a drunken slur. “Brian, do you think I’d really be the only one that would make you happy?”

His eyes relaxed as he stared into mine. “I do. Does that scare you?”

“It’s a little intimidating, yeah, though I think it’s flattering. Being the only girl in the whole world to fill that category. Sort of…gives me that fuzzy feeling inside. Virtuous happiness.” He only nodded understandingly. “I mean, I don’t think I’d ever have anyone else in my life to fill this kind of hole. You set the bar pretty high, you know.”

“Like in your dream.”

“Yeah, like in my dream. Except I don’t think you’re gonna have an issue hitting that bar tonight.” I saw his eyes light up, his smile return. Both his hands grazed my thighs now, moving down the lengths of my legs.

He bent down onto his knees and lifted my shirt just over my navel to kiss my belly and travel downwards where his hands roamed around to fiddle with the button and zipper of my jeans. “I want you now, then.” He whispered, proceeding to unbutton and pull the fabric apart to reveal my very unappealing underwear. Okay, I was too broke for lingerie. Point is, he didn’t care. He positioned me on the couch so I was hunched down with my butt just barely sitting on the cushion where he could access my lady region and do with it what he so pleased. Heaven almighty, if I knew this were to have happened, I’d have prepared myself a little better. Luckily only several nights before I had showered and shaved all necessary areas. There was slight stubble, but Brian really didn’t seem to mind.

Without time to waste, he pulled my pants completely off and flung them to the floor where I’d worry about them in the morning sometime. Next he would tackle my shirt. It wasn’t anything too special, but it was a nice dress shirt I wore to most important occasions. Job interviews, panels, press conferences. Okay, nothing special. Once he had it off he stared at my chest in pure awe and fascination like he’d never seen a pair of boobs before. “Wow.” He mouthed, his eyes roaming about my chest like some lost teenage boy not knowing what to expect. “You have a beautiful body.”

“I have stretch marks and disproportionate features.”

“No, you’re fucking stunning. I’ve got stretch marks too, you know. On my ass.” We both burst out into laughter.

When I calmed down I reached for his shirt and tore it over his head, revealing a torso with more ink than I’d ever seen before. At first I couldn’t pick out the pictures from the dim candle light. I noted to look at them in the morning when every inch of me wasn’t screaming to jump his bones. “You’ve got some fantastic ink, Brian. It’s sexy as hell.”

With his big goofy grin he shrugged and helped me remove his pants. He had this tricky belt with a clasp I’d never seen before. Fancy rock star belt with a Deathbat buckle in the front. Made me roll my eyes and proceed with a ridiculous desire to laugh again. Maybe the fame actually had gone to his head. I casually wondered what he’d do if this band went under. “Well, do you know what you like?” he asked me, rubbing his hands all around my body now, gradually working his way to my breasts. I removed my bra and tossed the garment in the same direction as my shirt and pants.

Brian worked his way out of his pants and threw them away the same, allowing me the opportunity to size him up. I was quite impressed, and a little bit intimidated, not to mention worried about the issue that he might just not fit so well. Cringing from the idea of pain surging around down there, I put it out of my mind for the time being and seized the opportunity to fiddle with him a little bit. “I’m not too sure just yet. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

He sneered with a half-smirk and climbed over me, powerfully kissing my mouth, then my neck, then between my breasts. “I’ve got a feeling you’ll like this.” his lips moved down to my navel, just above my underwear line before he pulled my unders off and tossed them over his shoulder where they hitched on the entertainment system, sort of representing a flag waving in the wind. Then I felt his mouth in a place I’d never felt anyone’s mouth before and I gasped, swinging my leg out and almost hitting him. I heard his maniacal laugh coming from between my legs and felt his strong grip around my thighs, immobilizing me. Hell no, I was in paradise. Absolutely fucking mind-blowing. He paused for a moment to see how I was taking it, and satisfied with my apparent appreciation, resumed.

I begged him to stop after a long ten minutes. Not out of dislike, but because I was brought to the edge and wanted to enjoy real intercourse with him for the first time. “Have to go grab a condom, sorry.” Brian hissed as he slunk off to his bedroom at the end of the long, dark hall. He reappeared shortly thereafter and appeared to have already put it on. I made sure it was properly adjusted and positioned myself on the couch so he could climb atop of me.

First he teased me with the tip, not wishing to force all of him inside before I was entirely ready. The dry spell made it so much easier for me to be ready for him. “Ready?” he whispered, his eyes eagerly dancing in the firelight beside us. I nodded and brushed his face with my hand as he slowly pushed himself deeper. When I felt that he was wholly in, I was in disbelief that he managed to fit. His eyes were clenched shut tightly, and a long, quiet moan came from him. “Holy _shit_.”

Once I’d gotten used to the sheer size of him he began thrusting in an erratic pattern, but soon stabilized into long, slow pushes. I couldn’t tell who groaned more out of the two of us, but he was _into_ it. I wrapped my legs around his backside hoping it didn’t hurt either of us and dug my nails into his back. His head shot back and his jaw dropped as he picked up speed. “Fuck, keep doing that.” Brian hissed as he revelled in the deep welts I began leaving in the flesh of his muscular, sweaty back. His hair began to stick to his face as he worked harder and harder to make a good first impression.

Needless to say I was breathless. The power behind each of his thrusts took all my breath away; each drive was deeper and harder than the last and I had gotten so fucking close to orgasm that I could no longer contain it. I began to let myself to go. “Shit, oh my god. Brian, don’t stop. Don’t stop now.” His face contorted as I finished my fit of muscular contractions, all the gasps that I wheezed and choked somehow triggering his own immensely powerful orgasm. Brian tumbled down on top of me in a heap of sweat and shudders, his breathing hoarse and every other noise a groan.

He sat up again after a moment and wiped the sweat from his forehead before pulling himself from inside me. I closed my eyes in order to cool down and calm my breathing. I didn’t want to get up from this couch as my body was temporarily paralyzed, but I knew I ought to have cleaned myself up before resuming the rest of the night. Pinkly wagged her tail in her bed, which alarmed me in realization that she was probably watching us the entire time. _Nasty_ , I thought, and let out an exhausted laugh. Brian had already discarded the condom and proceeded to climb back onto the couch with me to cuddle for the remainder of the night.

As I still felt his trembling arms around my body, I rested my head against his collarbone to listen to his frantically beating heart. “For the record, you set the bar.”

“I was about to ask you if you were satisfied.” He huffed. “That was incredible. Amazing enough that I’m inclined for another round in about ten or fifteen minutes.”

I laughed and wiped away several beads of sweat from his cheek and nose that he missed. “Perhaps next time we ought to open the window and let some cooler air in. But you’re right, that was absolutely mind-boggling. I’m immensely pleased.”

His breathing was just losing that last bit of elevation, and his heart rate dropped considerably in the next few minutes. “Like I said, another round coming up if you’re interested.”

“I’d have to be insane to turn down sex that good, Brian.”


End file.
